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The latest from microsoft - should be good for stirring up the hornet's nest! The Times has seen a patent application filed by the company ...

  1. #1
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    Office 'Spy' Software

    The latest from microsoft - should be good for stirring up the hornet's nest!

    The Times has seen a patent application filed by the company for a computer system that links workers to their computers via wireless sensors that measure their metabolism. The system would allow managers to monitor employees’ performance by measuring their heart rate, body temperature, movement, facial expression and blood pressure. Unions said they fear that employees could be dismissed on the basis of a computer’s assessment of their physiological state.
    Microsoft seeks patent for office 'spy' software

    Funny comments in the Have Your Say section:

    "It detects the junior doctor who has just completed 70 hours, is too tired to perform an essential operation, didn't we already know that ?"

    or

    "This would not work in the Civil Service. Rather the IT department would be inundated with false alarms of deceased operators given the sloth-like metabolic rates displayed by most of the shinybums."
    Last edited by Don McLeod; 01-16-2008 at 07:25 AM.

  2. #2
    Yeah, I know a LOT! Vin DSL's Avatar
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    Heh!

    They'll need 'Spry' Software to measure my physiological state ...
    DISCLAIMER Any resemblance between the views expressed above and those of the owners and operators of this system is purely coincidental. Any resemblance between these views and my own are non-deterministic. The existence of Vin DSL is questionable. The existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is problematic. The existence of the reader is left as an exercise in the second-order coefficient.

    No Guts, No Story! VinDSL 2010

  3. #3
    all about nothing! Frank Broughton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vin DSL View Post
    Heh!

    They'll need 'Spry' Software to measure my physiological state ...
    No doubts abouts it!

  4. #4
    Nearly 100% Pure Carbon thecoalman's Avatar
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    I foresee a return of a new and improved "Clippy"....

    "It looks like your stressed, do you want to:

    a.Get a backrub.

    b.Just keep on working.

    c. smash the f**** computer with a sledgehammer"

  5. #5
    Yeah, I know a LOT! Vin DSL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thecoalman View Post
    I foresee a return of a new and improved "Clippy"....
    Or, THX 1138...

    PRAYER BOOTH

    THX sits in a small cube which features a desk facing a large photograph
    of the prophet OMM. The image is similar to a renaissance painting of
    Jesus.

    VOICE
    My time is yours, go ahead.

    THX mumbles a short prayer; which is cut short by the recorded
    voice.

    VOICE
    Very good, proceed.

    THX is uneasy, and fumbles for the right words.

    THX
    Well.... I slipped on a T5 transfer
    this morning. It's never happened before.
    I wasn't concentrating enough. Things
    haven't been.....

    VOICE
    Yes.

    THX
    ....going well. How could I be so
    wrong. (pause) SCO 1202 cross
    wired a 904. He's been receiving
    extra credit. He offered me some.
    But you must already know about
    that....Why do I bother you with
    such.....

    VOICE
    Yes

    THX
    I did not accept any. (pause) I...
    I wanted... to. But I didn't.
    You know I didn't. Don't you?

    There is a pause as THX waits for an answer.

    VOICE
    Yes.

    THX
    My mate has been acting very strange.
    I can't explain it.....but. I haven't
    been feeling very well myself. I
    don't know, maybe it's me. I needed
    an SP9 last night. I feel as if
    something odd were happening to me.
    Something....

    VOICE
    Yes.

    THX
    I can't understand. The sedatives....

    THX pauses, and trys to think of what he wants to say.

    THX
    ....I'm taking SP5, but it doesn't seem
    strong enough. I have a hard time
    concentrating. Please forgive me, I
    slipped on....

    VOICE
    You are a true believer. Blessings of
    the state, blessings of the masses. Thou
    art a subject of the divine. Created in
    the image of man, by the masses, for the
    masses. Let us be thankful we have an
    occupation to fill. Work hard; increase
    production; prevent accidents, and be
    happy.

    THX slumps, exhausted by the effort of communicating with OMM.
    DISCLAIMER Any resemblance between the views expressed above and those of the owners and operators of this system is purely coincidental. Any resemblance between these views and my own are non-deterministic. The existence of Vin DSL is questionable. The existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is problematic. The existence of the reader is left as an exercise in the second-order coefficient.

    No Guts, No Story! VinDSL 2010

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